One year ago tonight, I was nine months pregnant, huge, uncomfortable, and praying for my little man's arrival. I checked into the hospital right around this time, not knowing what to expect. I didn't know yet that Aidan would decide to be stubborn, like his mother, and have to be "rescued" via c-section. I didn't yet know that he would have dark brown hair, sweet little dimples, or a round chubby face that melted my heart every time I looked into it. One year ago tonight, I couldn't have imagined what life would be like a year later.... I didn't know what to expect about life with a newborn, let alone life with a one-year old.
Now I know. And I can tell you -- it's good. Really good. Actually, it's the best thing ever - or at least the best thing so far. I used to be such a planner -- always planning the next thing in my life and often not taking care to enjoy things as they came. Now, I live more fully in the moment, savoring my time with Aidan and feeling bittersweet about his progress into toddlerhood.
I'm proud of his growth and I am excited for him as he discovers what his body and mind can do, but I already miss his babyness -- round cheeks, waving hands, curled up legs. Tonight as I was rocking Aidan in the glider before I put him to bed, his arms gripped tightly around my neck in a giant bear hug, I silently said a prayer of thanks. I am so thankful that I still have moments like that which make me feel so close to him and they help me remember that even though he's becoming a toddler, he is still very much my baby boy.
It's the eve of his birthday so I know you'll understand if I'm a little emotional. I already shed a tear or two as I gave Aidan his kiss goodnight as I laid him in his crib. Now, we'll just have to wait and see if I can keep myself from embarassing Alex tomorrow by being an emotional basket case when we sing Happy Birthday to my precious baby boy.
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