I belong to an online bulletin board for women with babies right around the same age as Aidan. I was just browsing the boards this afternoon and I came across a post asking for everyone's prayers. Hoping I could help (even if it meant just saying a prayer), I clicked on the post and read it.
Let me tell you - I was so not prepared for what I read. The gist of the post was this -- parents of a six month old baby had gone out for a "date night." They, of course, left the baby home with a babysitter so that they could have some quality "couple time." They had some drinks while they were out... They came home after a nice night out, sent the babysitter home and got the baby ready for bed. Well, the mom (still being a little tipsy) tripped on the last couple of stairs while she was carrying the baby down the stairs and accidentally dropped him/her on the ceramic tile landing. The baby is now in the hospital, in intensive care, with very severe brain damage. They're now to the point where the doctors are asking the parents to make the decision as to whether or not they should continue with life support...
After saying a prayer for this family, I immediately went to Aidan and hugged and kissed him more times than I can count. Even after losing Michael, I still sometimes take for granted how healthy, beautiful, and alive Aidan is. I guess reading the tragic story of these other parents made me so grateful that we've been blessed with Aidan. It also reminds me how fragile life is...
Monday, February 27, 2006
"Baby Flirting..."
Aidan is such a little flirt.
Just this afternoon, Aidan and I were at Babies R Us, picking up a few things. We were getting close to Aidan's lunch time, so rather than trying to feed him at the mall (which is where we were headed after our jaunt to Babies R Us), we settled in to the "Mother's Room."
We were in there for a few minutes by ourselves and then another mom came in with her daughter - it was her lunchtime, too! Anyway, the little girl's mom and I started a conversation - turns out the little girl was born just one day after Aidan (12/21)! It was cute, too, because the whole time the mommies were talking, Aidan and the little girl were "flirting!" I don't know what else to call it - it was definitely "baby flirting!"
Aidan was fascinated by Lydia (the little girl) - he would stare at her and smile his little flirty smile then as soon as she looked at him, he'd turn away and pretend to be shy. Silly boy! Lydia did the same thing - everytime she caught Aidan looking at her, she'd turn away, too. So cute! My little boy is most definitely a flirt!
Just this afternoon, Aidan and I were at Babies R Us, picking up a few things. We were getting close to Aidan's lunch time, so rather than trying to feed him at the mall (which is where we were headed after our jaunt to Babies R Us), we settled in to the "Mother's Room."
We were in there for a few minutes by ourselves and then another mom came in with her daughter - it was her lunchtime, too! Anyway, the little girl's mom and I started a conversation - turns out the little girl was born just one day after Aidan (12/21)! It was cute, too, because the whole time the mommies were talking, Aidan and the little girl were "flirting!" I don't know what else to call it - it was definitely "baby flirting!"
Aidan was fascinated by Lydia (the little girl) - he would stare at her and smile his little flirty smile then as soon as she looked at him, he'd turn away and pretend to be shy. Silly boy! Lydia did the same thing - everytime she caught Aidan looking at her, she'd turn away, too. So cute! My little boy is most definitely a flirt!
Separation Anxiety
Aidan slept in his crib last night.
Well, maybe I should rephrase that. Aidan slept in his crib for approximately forty-five minutes last night. He did great - he was awake when I put him down in his crib, he quickly fell asleep, and he slept like a perfect little angel.
I, however, did not do so great. I will be perfectly honest and tell you - I cried for a good fifteen minutes! I know it sounds completely irrational, but not being able to see him sleeping right next to me in bed really upset me. I mean, what if something happens - what if he stops breathing?!? What if he wakes up and sees that he's not right next to Mommy?!? What if his pacifer falls out and he wants it?!? What if...?!? (the list goes on and on...)
I got up to check on him (even though my ear was glued to the baby monitor) literally every five minutes. Once I was almost okay with having him sleep in his own room, I think Alex's emotions got the better of him, too. He also had his ear glued to the baby monitor... He finally suggested that I go back into Aidan's room and get him so that he could sleep with us. Of course, I hopped right out of bed and got him. After Aidan was back in bed with us, we all slept really well.
We're planning on putting Aidan to bed (in his own crib) around 9pm tonight (usually he just goes to bed with us around 11:30pm). When we're ready for bed, I'll get him out of his crib and he can sleep with us. This will help Mommy (and Daddy) to get used to the idea of Aidan sleeping in his own crib. We'll get there... eventually. Who knew it would be so difficult to wean MOMMY and DADDY? I thought we were supposed to be weaning AIDAN! =)
Well, maybe I should rephrase that. Aidan slept in his crib for approximately forty-five minutes last night. He did great - he was awake when I put him down in his crib, he quickly fell asleep, and he slept like a perfect little angel.
I, however, did not do so great. I will be perfectly honest and tell you - I cried for a good fifteen minutes! I know it sounds completely irrational, but not being able to see him sleeping right next to me in bed really upset me. I mean, what if something happens - what if he stops breathing?!? What if he wakes up and sees that he's not right next to Mommy?!? What if his pacifer falls out and he wants it?!? What if...?!? (the list goes on and on...)
I got up to check on him (even though my ear was glued to the baby monitor) literally every five minutes. Once I was almost okay with having him sleep in his own room, I think Alex's emotions got the better of him, too. He also had his ear glued to the baby monitor... He finally suggested that I go back into Aidan's room and get him so that he could sleep with us. Of course, I hopped right out of bed and got him. After Aidan was back in bed with us, we all slept really well.
We're planning on putting Aidan to bed (in his own crib) around 9pm tonight (usually he just goes to bed with us around 11:30pm). When we're ready for bed, I'll get him out of his crib and he can sleep with us. This will help Mommy (and Daddy) to get used to the idea of Aidan sleeping in his own crib. We'll get there... eventually. Who knew it would be so difficult to wean MOMMY and DADDY? I thought we were supposed to be weaning AIDAN! =)
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Just Like Daddy...
This morning when I was getting ready for the day, I left Aidan in bed with Daddy. When I came back in the room, I saw the cutest thing... Aidan and Daddy were sleeping exactly the same way. They both were on their backs with their arms above their heads. I quickly ran downstairs to grab the camera... By the time I got back upstairs, Aidan had moved his arm a little, but you get the gist...
I just have to say - I have the cutest men in my life!
Best Buds
Two nights ago, I swaddled Aidan and put him to bed (in our bed, in the boppy). I then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, take my contacts out, etc. Just getting ready for bed myself...
Anyway, when I went back in our bedroom, this is what I saw:
Anyway, when I went back in our bedroom, this is what I saw:
Noah brought one of his very favorite toys to Aidan =) He then laid down on the bed, right next to Aidan, presumably "babysitting" while I was gone. There is no doubt in my mind that they're going to be the best of buds...
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Heritage
Well, Aidan turned two months old on Monday (02/20). He is growing so fast - I sometimes wish I could slow down time. Because I can't, however, I am enjoying every single second I can with my son...
On Monday, we took Aidan to visit his Great-Grandparents. They live in an assisted-living center and I know it's been really difficult on my grandfather - moving out of his house, being separated from his wife (of 53 years) - she is now living in a separate section of the center due to her dementia. So, we thought it would be nice to bring Aidan to see them, seeing as how he doesn't get too many visitors during the week.
Well, I didn't see his face when he saw us, but Alex said that his face lit up like the fireworks on the fourth of July. He was that excited to see us. It just makes you feel so good when you see that. I'm glad that we were able to "make his day."
It's nice that Aidan's great-grandparents are still around for him to meet. I vaguely remember my great-grandmother - all I remember is that she was VERY old and VERY frail. So it's nice for Aidan to have great-grandparents who are able to be a little bit more interactive with him - it's going to be fun watching him grow up WITH his great-grandparents. Now that's what I call heritage!
On Monday, we took Aidan to visit his Great-Grandparents. They live in an assisted-living center and I know it's been really difficult on my grandfather - moving out of his house, being separated from his wife (of 53 years) - she is now living in a separate section of the center due to her dementia. So, we thought it would be nice to bring Aidan to see them, seeing as how he doesn't get too many visitors during the week.
Well, I didn't see his face when he saw us, but Alex said that his face lit up like the fireworks on the fourth of July. He was that excited to see us. It just makes you feel so good when you see that. I'm glad that we were able to "make his day."
He was so proud, too, when we took Aidan for a walk down to the dementia center to see his Great-Grandma. Great-Grandpa proudly showed Aidan off to all of the other residents - he exclaimed, "This is my GREAT grandson!" Of course, everyone thought Aidan was adorable (who wouldn't think that?)
Great-Grandma didn't have any idea who Aidan was, much less who we were, which is really sad. But she smiled at Aidan and said that he was cute, so that was good. She told me that she was going to "steal" him... I asked her if she was going to feed him and change his diapers and she just grinned and said "YEP!"
It's nice that Aidan's great-grandparents are still around for him to meet. I vaguely remember my great-grandmother - all I remember is that she was VERY old and VERY frail. So it's nice for Aidan to have great-grandparents who are able to be a little bit more interactive with him - it's going to be fun watching him grow up WITH his great-grandparents. Now that's what I call heritage!
Sunday, February 19, 2006
The "Mommy Diet"
So I got on the scale yesterday -- I didn't think the number would have changed at all. Maybe a pound less or a pound more... So I was very pleasantly surprised when the scale showed that I have lost yet another nine pounds in two weeks. I gained a total of 21 pounds when I was pregnant with Aidan. At my six week post partum visit, I had lost a total of 27 pounds (six pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight). Well, now I'm down another nine pounds, so that would make me fifteen pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight.
Alex had his arms around me a couple of days ago and he said that I "felt" thinner - it was easier to wrap his arms around me. I just figured he was trying to be nice seeing as how my body image, post-pregnancy, isn't the greatest. And, whose would be if they had this icky belly pouch? LOL
Anyway, after getting on the scale yesterday (a couple of times, I have to admit - I didn't believe it at first). Anyway, I got to thinking. Why would I be dropping the weight so fast? And then it came to me -- it's the "Mommy Diet!" What's that, you ask?
It is being so preoccupied with making sure every last one of Aidan's needs are taken care of, then making sure that Alex is taken care of, and then finally taking care of myself. What that means is I'm really lucky to get in two meals a day. And by "meal," I mean - a cheese and mustard sandwich or a handful of cherry tomatoes or three oreos or a bagel with butter or a slice of pizza. Yes, these have ALL been considered "meals" for me in the past couple of months. I know - it's not the healthiest way to lose weight, but at least I'm still taking my prenatal vitamins and getting some kind of nutrients! =)
Alex had his arms around me a couple of days ago and he said that I "felt" thinner - it was easier to wrap his arms around me. I just figured he was trying to be nice seeing as how my body image, post-pregnancy, isn't the greatest. And, whose would be if they had this icky belly pouch? LOL
Anyway, after getting on the scale yesterday (a couple of times, I have to admit - I didn't believe it at first). Anyway, I got to thinking. Why would I be dropping the weight so fast? And then it came to me -- it's the "Mommy Diet!" What's that, you ask?
It is being so preoccupied with making sure every last one of Aidan's needs are taken care of, then making sure that Alex is taken care of, and then finally taking care of myself. What that means is I'm really lucky to get in two meals a day. And by "meal," I mean - a cheese and mustard sandwich or a handful of cherry tomatoes or three oreos or a bagel with butter or a slice of pizza. Yes, these have ALL been considered "meals" for me in the past couple of months. I know - it's not the healthiest way to lose weight, but at least I'm still taking my prenatal vitamins and getting some kind of nutrients! =)
Friday, February 17, 2006
Feverish
Well, today has been quite a day. Of course, as I mentioned earlier, Aidan had his two month shots this morning. He did okay - a little cranky, but mostly hungry and sleepy - when we got home. I had to run to the bank and the post office later in the afternoon, so I left Aidan with Daddy and quickly ran out.
When I got home, I found both Aidan and Daddy sound asleep in bed. I let them be and quickly grabbed some lunch (it's very rare for me to be able to actually take time for lunch when it's still hot!). While I was finishing up, I heard Aidan start to fuss so I quickly finished lunch and then went upstairs to grab Aidan so Alex could get some sleep.
Bad idea. As soon as I picked Aidan up (he had been "quietly" fussing - just little whimpers), as soon as I picked him up, he let out this bloodcurtling scream. I patted his back and just loved on him and he seemed to settle down a little bit so we went back downstairs. It was nearing Aidan's afternoon snack time, so I put him on the changing table (attached to the pack n play). He was okay until I pulled his pants off. They must have rubbed against his little legs, which are quite sore. Again, he started screaming but this time he wouldn't stop. Poor baby. I felt horrible. I quickly changed his diaper and then he had his snack, which stopped the screaming and crying.
However... once he was done eating, the screaming and crying started right back up again. I so badly wanted to give him some Tylenol but he still had two more hours before his next dose. So I held him, kissed him, cried with him (yes, I really did), and tried my best to calm him down. Alex was awake and asking what was wrong so I brought Aidan back upstairs and Alex suggested that we put cold compresses on his little thighs, so we did. Aidan didn't like that at first, but it seemed to help after a couple of minutes. I'm sure the cold was quite a shock at first! His face felt really warm to me, so we took his temperature (in his armpit). It was 99.2 degrees.
The cold compresses worked for about three minutes and then he was back to his screaming and crying. I drew a bath for him, thinking that it might calm him down a little bit. So he took a bath and, again, it seemed to work for a few minutes.
After he had his bath and he got dressed, we decided to take his temperature one more time. This time we took his rectal temperature (poor baby!). It was 99.9 degrees. I decided to call the doctor to see if we should be worried.
I left a message with the pediatricians answering service and the doctor on call quickly got back to us. He said that it sounded like Aidan was having a normal reaction - the crying and fussiness. He said that if his temp got higher than 101.5 to call back. We'll keep an eye on it.
He had another dose of Tylenol and that seemed to knock him out for a while. He is now getting a well deserved nap... Wish me luck for tonight!
When I got home, I found both Aidan and Daddy sound asleep in bed. I let them be and quickly grabbed some lunch (it's very rare for me to be able to actually take time for lunch when it's still hot!). While I was finishing up, I heard Aidan start to fuss so I quickly finished lunch and then went upstairs to grab Aidan so Alex could get some sleep.
Bad idea. As soon as I picked Aidan up (he had been "quietly" fussing - just little whimpers), as soon as I picked him up, he let out this bloodcurtling scream. I patted his back and just loved on him and he seemed to settle down a little bit so we went back downstairs. It was nearing Aidan's afternoon snack time, so I put him on the changing table (attached to the pack n play). He was okay until I pulled his pants off. They must have rubbed against his little legs, which are quite sore. Again, he started screaming but this time he wouldn't stop. Poor baby. I felt horrible. I quickly changed his diaper and then he had his snack, which stopped the screaming and crying.
However... once he was done eating, the screaming and crying started right back up again. I so badly wanted to give him some Tylenol but he still had two more hours before his next dose. So I held him, kissed him, cried with him (yes, I really did), and tried my best to calm him down. Alex was awake and asking what was wrong so I brought Aidan back upstairs and Alex suggested that we put cold compresses on his little thighs, so we did. Aidan didn't like that at first, but it seemed to help after a couple of minutes. I'm sure the cold was quite a shock at first! His face felt really warm to me, so we took his temperature (in his armpit). It was 99.2 degrees.
The cold compresses worked for about three minutes and then he was back to his screaming and crying. I drew a bath for him, thinking that it might calm him down a little bit. So he took a bath and, again, it seemed to work for a few minutes.
After he had his bath and he got dressed, we decided to take his temperature one more time. This time we took his rectal temperature (poor baby!). It was 99.9 degrees. I decided to call the doctor to see if we should be worried.
I left a message with the pediatricians answering service and the doctor on call quickly got back to us. He said that it sounded like Aidan was having a normal reaction - the crying and fussiness. He said that if his temp got higher than 101.5 to call back. We'll keep an eye on it.
He had another dose of Tylenol and that seemed to knock him out for a while. He is now getting a well deserved nap... Wish me luck for tonight!
Ouchies
Aidan had his two month well baby visit this morning. The poor kid had to endure FOUR injections! Yep - you read that correctly. FOUR! There were two nurses who kind of "tag teamed" him - so he had two shots (one in each leg) at the same time. I admit it. I cried when I saw him screaming and crying because he was in pain.
And, not only was he in pain but he was really hungry, too. I know this because he was supposed to eat at 10am. His appointment was for 9:50am, so I figured he could wait an extra ten to fifteen minutes to eat. I certainly didn't think we'd still be in the exam room at 11:00am! My poor baby - I hope he doesn't hate me. I feel like such a bad mommy...
Right after he got all four of his shots, I immediately picked him up and loved on him. I held his head so close to my cheeks and cried right with him. Of course, Alex is starting to get irritated because he knows Aidan is hungry and Alex is tired (he worked last night) so he just wants to get home and in bed. My biggest concern was comforting Aidan. So Alex was kind of "pissy." Oh, well. Too bad! Right?!?! Okay - now I'm a bad wife AND a bad mommy! Ai yi yi!
Anyway - we're home now and my beautiful baby boy is sound asleep on Mommy's chest. I have a feeling that's where he'll be staying all day long, too.
(I think I like this Tylenol stuff...)
He didn't sleep well last night - maybe he knew what was coming this morning. I had warned him, but I honestly didn't think he'd understand! LOL Must be one smart cookie I've got here! Anyway - since Aidan didn't sleep well last night, Mommy didn't either. I'm exhausted. So maybe I'll try to catch a quick nap while Aidan is sleeping. Kind of hard to do, though, because I don't nap well sitting up. Oh, well - it's worth a try, right?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
He's Growing up so fast...
Aidan, Alex, and I ran some errands this afternoon. One of the errands included dropping off printer ink cartridges to my mom (Alex's father was kind enough to bring some home from work at no charge...). Anyway - we dropped off the ink cartridges and Mom had a surprise for us. She has an in-home daycare center and one of the parents (who have ALREADY been so very generous to us) donated their full size swing (we have a "fold-up" swing) as well as an exersaucer. Both are in absolute pristine condition. So, thank you guys so very much. Aidan is already getting lots of use out of the swing (he's falling asleep in it as I type this).
It was funny, too, because Alex and I decided to let Aidan try out the exersaucer. For the past week or two, Aidan has been insistent on us letting him "stand" on his own. Basically, we put our hands underneath his armpits and he puts all of his weight on his little legs and feet. He really does "stand" on his own, although he may look like a drunken sailor 99% of the time! What a cutie pie. Anyway, we thought he'd really love using the exersaucer - he can "stand" whenever he wants to! But, alas, his little body is still too small to use it. Alex put him in the exersaucer (on the lowest setting) and his little legs almost touched the bottom. Aidan probably has another 1/2 inch to grow or so. We also had to put a rolled up blanket behind him because his torso is nowhere near big enough to "fill up" the seat. Our little boy is trying to grow up, developmentally, too fast!
I did try and put a package of diapers underneath his little feet so that he could "stand" on those, but the packaging was a little too slippery for him. Every time he tried to stand, he'd slide right back down. Oh, well. Now it's just something he can look forward to trying again in a month or two!
It was funny, too, because Alex and I decided to let Aidan try out the exersaucer. For the past week or two, Aidan has been insistent on us letting him "stand" on his own. Basically, we put our hands underneath his armpits and he puts all of his weight on his little legs and feet. He really does "stand" on his own, although he may look like a drunken sailor 99% of the time! What a cutie pie. Anyway, we thought he'd really love using the exersaucer - he can "stand" whenever he wants to! But, alas, his little body is still too small to use it. Alex put him in the exersaucer (on the lowest setting) and his little legs almost touched the bottom. Aidan probably has another 1/2 inch to grow or so. We also had to put a rolled up blanket behind him because his torso is nowhere near big enough to "fill up" the seat. Our little boy is trying to grow up, developmentally, too fast!
I did try and put a package of diapers underneath his little feet so that he could "stand" on those, but the packaging was a little too slippery for him. Every time he tried to stand, he'd slide right back down. Oh, well. Now it's just something he can look forward to trying again in a month or two!
Bodily Fluids
This morning, I had just finished feeding Aidan. It was early morning and we were just "hanging out" together. Aidan was giving me the biggest and cutest gummy grins. My heart melted. We both got dressed for the day and I proceeded to put Aidan in the Baby Bjorn carrier. About ten seconds after he was strapped in, he spit up on me. Not just a little spit up, it was more like a projectile spit up! He not only got my shirt completely soaked, but his outfit as well. (And it was one of my favorite outfits of his!)
No problem. I set Aidan down on the bed with Alex (who was trying to get some sleep as he just recently got home from work). Aidan was still his happy self, completely oblivious to the mess he had made... Anyway, I got a new shirt on, treated the spit up stain on my old shirt, and then brought Aidan into his room, undressed him, redressed him, and then treated the stain on his shirt, too. Like I said - no big deal.
I then put him back in the Baby Bjorn carrier and we went on our merry way, getting the chores done around the house. Aidan was still his very happy, smiley self the whole time so the spit up incident had absolutely no effect on him.
By Aidan's lunchtime, he had fallen asleep in the Baby Bjorn carrier so I had to wake him up. He woke up cranky (which isn't all that unusual - and I can't say that I blame him - I'd be cranky if someone woke me up from a nap, too!). Anyway - he woke up on the cranky side and when I went to change his diaper, he got this huge grin on his face and about three seconds later, he proceeded to pee all over me! I couldn't get his "hose" under control, so there goes shirt number two! He also managed to pee all over himself so he was in for his second outfit change of the day. This is the second time he's managed to pee on me with the diaper off (the first time was when he was only a couple of days old).
After he "relieved himself" all over both me and himself, he was no longer cranky. He thought it was the funniest thing! He grunted his little grunts (which I think is how he is learning to giggle) and smiled these huge smiles. Silly boy.
So, life as a stay-at-home Mommy consists of changing my shirt about a thousand times, changing Aidan about a thousand times, and smelling like stinky baby spitup! Oh, the joys of motherhood. =)
No problem. I set Aidan down on the bed with Alex (who was trying to get some sleep as he just recently got home from work). Aidan was still his happy self, completely oblivious to the mess he had made... Anyway, I got a new shirt on, treated the spit up stain on my old shirt, and then brought Aidan into his room, undressed him, redressed him, and then treated the stain on his shirt, too. Like I said - no big deal.
I then put him back in the Baby Bjorn carrier and we went on our merry way, getting the chores done around the house. Aidan was still his very happy, smiley self the whole time so the spit up incident had absolutely no effect on him.
By Aidan's lunchtime, he had fallen asleep in the Baby Bjorn carrier so I had to wake him up. He woke up cranky (which isn't all that unusual - and I can't say that I blame him - I'd be cranky if someone woke me up from a nap, too!). Anyway - he woke up on the cranky side and when I went to change his diaper, he got this huge grin on his face and about three seconds later, he proceeded to pee all over me! I couldn't get his "hose" under control, so there goes shirt number two! He also managed to pee all over himself so he was in for his second outfit change of the day. This is the second time he's managed to pee on me with the diaper off (the first time was when he was only a couple of days old).
After he "relieved himself" all over both me and himself, he was no longer cranky. He thought it was the funniest thing! He grunted his little grunts (which I think is how he is learning to giggle) and smiled these huge smiles. Silly boy.
So, life as a stay-at-home Mommy consists of changing my shirt about a thousand times, changing Aidan about a thousand times, and smelling like stinky baby spitup! Oh, the joys of motherhood. =)
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
On Being a Mom...
Life has changed so much since Aidan came into my life. I never before had responsibility for another human life, much less one who is 50% me and 50% the person I fell completely in love with and married. He is beautiful and intelligent and I am so very much in love. He's changed me and my life - my needs no longer matter and I don't care that they don't matter anymore.
When I was pregnant with Aidan, every action I took directly affected him, they still do now, but now I can SEE the consequences of my actions. Like letting him cry for a few extra seconds when I need to finish my once a day meal, then seeing tears streaming down his cheeks when I realize he's hungry and just wants his mommy. Talk about feeling guilty since I was sitting there wolfing down a cheese and mustard sandwich and he was watching me while he wanted to eat. Sometimes I feel totally inadequate, like I am doing everything wrong. But then there's moments like today, when he smiles when I start talking to him and he tries to crawl over Daddy to get to me, it makes me realize I'm doing something right.
Aidan is still sleeping in our room, in fact, he's sleeping in bed with me. (And Daddy, when he has his nights off). He was previously sleeping in a bassinett in our room, but we had nightly pacifier wars - Aidan would spit out the pacifier about every ten seconds and then scream and cry until we put it back in his mouth. Now that he's sleeping with us, he doesn't seem to care so much about his pacifier. He just really seems to enjoy being so close to us.
My Dad tells me that we're "ruining" Aidan by letting him sleep in bed with us. I guess it's as much for me as it is for Aidan. I can't imagine not being so close to him. It's so nice to just be able to wake up in the middle of the night and make sure he's still breathing. Sure, it may be a little neurotic, but after losing Michael, I think I have the right to be a little neurotic. Aidan will only be little for such a short time and I'd like to enjoy it as much as I can. Pretty soon he'll be sleeping in his own crib (I cringe just thinking about it!).
I'm still not to the point where I'll allow anyone to babysit Aidan. I know this makes both my parents and Alex's parents crazy, but I'm just not ready to be away from Aidan. I've spent practically every minute with Aidan since he was born and I guess I'm not ready to "cut the cord," so to speak. I really don't know how some Moms are able to go back to work after just six weeks maternity leave - I know I couldn't have done it. (But, if there are any of those Moms reading this - please don't take that as an attack on you - I just couldn't do it myself...)
Alex and I have two movie tickets that have been sitting on our desk in the office for quite some time. They're just waiting to be used and I know that Alex would really love a "night out" without Aidan. I'm going to have to "give in" eventually - I just need to prepare myself for that. Maybe next week. Then again, maybe not. =)
The next question, once I finally get to the point where I'll let someone babysit Aidan, is who do we ask to babysit? Both sets of our parents are dying to watch him. How do we choose which set of grandparents to babysit? I told Alex that we'll let them decide, but he didn't like that option. I just know both sets of parents and I also know that whoever we don't pick will have hurt feelings. They may not tell us they're hurt (although they probably will), but I just don't know what to do. Maybe that's one of the reasons I've been putting off a "night out." I just don't know.
So, today Aidan is eight weeks and one day old. I cannot believe he's been in our lives for eight weeks. Well, I suppose he's been in our lives for forty-seven weeks if you include the weeks of pregnancy. On one hand, I feel like Aidan has been in our lives forever. It's truly hard to remember what life was like without Aidan. Yet, on the other hand, I can't believe he's already eight weeks old. Where did the time go? I remember, like it was yesterday, holding him in the hospital and being so amazed at what a beautiful little human being Alex and I made. We created this gorgeous little baby with our love. How is that possible? It is truly a blessing. So amazing.
Right now, as I type this, Aidan is sitting in his boppy, next to me on the couch. He's making the most adorable little smiles in his sleep. He just recently started smiling and every time I see his big gummy smile, it melts my heart. I feel like a little girl with a first crush - every time I see that smile. I fall in love with him more and more every day.
When I was pregnant with Aidan, every action I took directly affected him, they still do now, but now I can SEE the consequences of my actions. Like letting him cry for a few extra seconds when I need to finish my once a day meal, then seeing tears streaming down his cheeks when I realize he's hungry and just wants his mommy. Talk about feeling guilty since I was sitting there wolfing down a cheese and mustard sandwich and he was watching me while he wanted to eat. Sometimes I feel totally inadequate, like I am doing everything wrong. But then there's moments like today, when he smiles when I start talking to him and he tries to crawl over Daddy to get to me, it makes me realize I'm doing something right.
Aidan is still sleeping in our room, in fact, he's sleeping in bed with me. (And Daddy, when he has his nights off). He was previously sleeping in a bassinett in our room, but we had nightly pacifier wars - Aidan would spit out the pacifier about every ten seconds and then scream and cry until we put it back in his mouth. Now that he's sleeping with us, he doesn't seem to care so much about his pacifier. He just really seems to enjoy being so close to us.
My Dad tells me that we're "ruining" Aidan by letting him sleep in bed with us. I guess it's as much for me as it is for Aidan. I can't imagine not being so close to him. It's so nice to just be able to wake up in the middle of the night and make sure he's still breathing. Sure, it may be a little neurotic, but after losing Michael, I think I have the right to be a little neurotic. Aidan will only be little for such a short time and I'd like to enjoy it as much as I can. Pretty soon he'll be sleeping in his own crib (I cringe just thinking about it!).
I'm still not to the point where I'll allow anyone to babysit Aidan. I know this makes both my parents and Alex's parents crazy, but I'm just not ready to be away from Aidan. I've spent practically every minute with Aidan since he was born and I guess I'm not ready to "cut the cord," so to speak. I really don't know how some Moms are able to go back to work after just six weeks maternity leave - I know I couldn't have done it. (But, if there are any of those Moms reading this - please don't take that as an attack on you - I just couldn't do it myself...)
Alex and I have two movie tickets that have been sitting on our desk in the office for quite some time. They're just waiting to be used and I know that Alex would really love a "night out" without Aidan. I'm going to have to "give in" eventually - I just need to prepare myself for that. Maybe next week. Then again, maybe not. =)
The next question, once I finally get to the point where I'll let someone babysit Aidan, is who do we ask to babysit? Both sets of our parents are dying to watch him. How do we choose which set of grandparents to babysit? I told Alex that we'll let them decide, but he didn't like that option. I just know both sets of parents and I also know that whoever we don't pick will have hurt feelings. They may not tell us they're hurt (although they probably will), but I just don't know what to do. Maybe that's one of the reasons I've been putting off a "night out." I just don't know.
So, today Aidan is eight weeks and one day old. I cannot believe he's been in our lives for eight weeks. Well, I suppose he's been in our lives for forty-seven weeks if you include the weeks of pregnancy. On one hand, I feel like Aidan has been in our lives forever. It's truly hard to remember what life was like without Aidan. Yet, on the other hand, I can't believe he's already eight weeks old. Where did the time go? I remember, like it was yesterday, holding him in the hospital and being so amazed at what a beautiful little human being Alex and I made. We created this gorgeous little baby with our love. How is that possible? It is truly a blessing. So amazing.
Right now, as I type this, Aidan is sitting in his boppy, next to me on the couch. He's making the most adorable little smiles in his sleep. He just recently started smiling and every time I see his big gummy smile, it melts my heart. I feel like a little girl with a first crush - every time I see that smile. I fall in love with him more and more every day.
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