Michael's Third Birthday

Three years ago today, Alex and I had the privelege of holding an angel. Our angel. An angel whose heart was so pure that God decided his place was in Heaven, among the other angels.

Sometimes it feels like it's been twenty years since Michael was born. So much has happened in the past three years... The struggles with infertility, the joy of overcoming it, and then the worry throughout my whole pregnancy with Aidan and now with the girls. We are so blessed to have two beautiful baby boys and two precious girls on the way. One of our sons will remain a baby in my heart forever while the other is growing like wildfire before my very eyes.

Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that Michael was born. I can close my eyes and see his beautiful face, the small patches of light blonde hair, his skinny little arms and legs. I remember the smells in the delivery room, the sounds, the sadness. The grief. The mourning. I remember it all like it just happened the other day. I don't think I'll ever forget that day. The rush of emotions when you're told that your baby's heart has stopped beating. It was (and at times, still is) overwhelming.

This morning I was brought back to that day. August 27th, 2004. The day that my beautiful angel was born. But, today, instead of the overwhelming feelings of sadness and grief, I felt feelings of joy. Joy because Michael sent Aidan to us. Joy because I know that Michael can feel no pain. Joy because I know he has three Great-Grandpa's and two Great-Grandma's who most likely spoil him rotten in Heaven's playground.

We celebrated Michael's short time on earth this afternoon. Alex, Aidan, and I released three dozen balloons at the cemetery. I hope Michael enjoys them and shares them with his friends.

Michael, I love you more than words can say. I miss you so much. Love Always, Mommy